Top BDSM Dating Sites For Fetish & Kinksters

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You’ve decided a vanilla sex life is not for you or your partners, congratulations! Luckily for you, the internet is at your fingertips and so is access to tons of BDSM and kink dating sites and apps. As the culture is becoming more accepting of alternative lifestyles and sexual preferences the kink groups are coming out of the shadows.

Long gone is the shame and secrecy of liking a little whipping and spanking. There are giant communities of people that are into exactly what you are and are willing to play and teach alongside you. There are even huge festivals like the Folsom Street Fair where BDSM dating takes its passions to the streets. You can use many of these apps to find events, local meetings, and group sex near you.

Now as exciting as it is that BDSM dating sites and mobile apps are in abundance, unfortunately, they are not all created equal. They all have different specialties or pros and cons. We took the liberty of doing all the legwork of painstakingly trying and testing all the best options so you don’t have to. Our reviews of each site will help you find your perfect fit and have you tied up in no time.

 

What is BDSM?

BDSM or bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, is a consensual often sexual relationship between two people where a power exchange has occurred. One person is considered the subordinate while the other is dominant. The foundation of BDSM dating is trust. People engaging in this kink are giving their partner the power to hurt them but trusting that they won’t.

In BDSM play there can be bondage play, where one partner is restrained by the other often by silk-ties or cuffs. There is discipline where the dom sets up rules for their sub to follow. These rules can be punishable to whatever degree the dom and sub agree to. The S/M or sadomasochism is sometimes hard for people to understand. Sadomasochists receive pleasure from giving or receiving pain. Pain can often lead to intense pleasure and a deepened bond between practitioners.

Now, let’s get into our top fetish dating sites and some apps so you can find your tribe and let the good times roll.

 

  1. Alt
  2. Fetlife
  3. Fester
  4. Reddit/r/BDSMpersonals
  5. Fetish
  6. MatchBDSM
  7. BDSM
  8. GayBDSMDart

 

1. ALT

ALT
5.00 (12987 votes)

Alt.com is a great place to explore BDSM dating. This place is an adult dating site that celebrates the BDSM, Fetish and Kink lifestyle. Whether you’re looking to find people to date or you are wanting to learn more about specific kinks Alt can help.

Alt.com does have a free version but the capabilities are pretty limited. You’ll need to upgrade your account to access user-profiles and information. Your privacy is protected on Alt so users can share as much or as little as they want. You will have to verify your email address to help the site weed out fake profiles.

The members on Alt.com can be described as sexually adventurous, sex-positive kinksters. This sites has non-judgemental members who will help you feel welcome and safe discussing your deepest desires. Fetish lovers welcome to a haven just for you.

 

The good:

  • There are adult movies on this site.
  • This site is designed for dates.
  • Many active users
  • Location features help you find nearby members

The bad:

  • Reported fake profiles and partners
  • You have to pay to access most things
  • Mainly males on the site

 

Cost:

Free trial (not very usable)

1 Month $34.44/ Month

4 Months $17.24/ Month

18 Months $10.29/ Month

2. FetLife

FetLife
4.96 (12447 votes)

Read Full Review

When you begin your search for the perfect fetish dating site Fetlife is definitely one you’ll come across. with over 8 million members, FetLife is one of the largest online hubs for kinksters! Imagine Facebook but minus your grandma and plus a lot of whips, chains, and couple videos. While Facebook bosts groups for swapping antiques FetLife groups are more fetish based. These groups contain everything from water play to rope tying 101.

On FetLife you can make friends with others in the platform that share your same interests and kinks. As a couple or an individual, you can meet people on FetLife and take your relationship from online dating apps to real life. Participating in discussions will help you find people into what you’re into so this is very much encouraged.

Besides making friends and participating in discussions FetLife offers a great way to find kink events and videos. Groups you participate in might have monthly meetups or other events where you can put your kinks to the test. Meet up with the people you’ve been communicating with but be wary there may be fake profiles out there as well.

 

The good:

  • Huge list of members of like-minded, sex-positive people.
  • Access to photos and video
  • There is a free trial available.
  • Use FetLifte to discuss the lifestyle as well as attend events to celebrate your lifestyle.

The bad:

  • There have been reports of fake accounts and profiles.
  • Dating is not the only reason for the site.
  • The interface is a bit dated but gets the job done.

 

Cost:

Free basic account

1 – Month Membership $5.00

3 – Month Membership $15.00

6 – Month Membership $30.00

 

3. Fetster

Fetster
4.90 (11766 votes)

According to their site, Fetster is a “BDSM free dating spirit, for users interested in BDSM, singles, personals, social networking, dates and more.” If these are the things you’re looking for Fetster might be for you.

Besides being a spot to find fetish dating Fetster also encourages education and social networking. If you’re curious or passionate about cuckolding, suspension or pleasure control Fetster has niches just for you.

One bold claim that’s enough of a reason to join Fetster is that they claim to be free forever! This includes messaging and joining groups and forums. For free you really don’t have much to lose and may as well see if this site works for you. You’ll find a BDSM dating in no time on Fetster.

One word of warning the inference of Fetster is pretty old. Don’t expect an app or an algorithm any time soon. The site is a little clumsy to navigate but once you’ve done your digging it will be worth it. There are definitely some great nuggets of information here and real users to interact with.

 

The good:

  • Fetster is completely free!
  • The platform is welcoming and happy to educate.
  • Registration is quick and easy.

The bad:

  • The interface is old and tricky to navigate.
  • There is no app
  • No live chat abilities.

 

Cost:

FREE!

4. Reddit.com

Reddit.com
4.86 (11265 votes)

There really isn’t much you can’t find on Reddit. From kink education to personals Reddit BDSM personals have got you covered. The BDSM hookup subreddit particularly is the ideal spot to find users to share your kinks with. The Reddit community is notorious for being helpful and welcoming. Moreover, you can also find additional recommendations for couple of dating apps and threesomes.

There are some guidelines enforced by moderators on the /BDSM personals page. These guidelines include not publicly sharing contact information (only via direct message) and only posting once a week. Being rude is not tolerated in the subreddit page and you will be removed if you try to be cruel.

Best practices for using Reddit for adult dating are to join the group. After you have done that you’ll want to set up your personals ad. Be specific about who you are and what you are looking for. Again do not disclose contact information on your post but simply ask users to DM you to contact you.

 

The good:

  • Reddit is free.
  • Many members with verified photos
  • The community is knowledgeable and passionate
  • Moderators keep the community held to its guidelines.

The bad:

  • There are a ton of posts so getting yours to stand out might be tough.
  • You can get banned if you do not adhere to the rules.

 

Cost:

Free!

 

5. Fetish

Fetish
4.45 (10498 votes)

If you’ve been looking for your BDSM dating and fetish utopia, then Fetish may be the place for you. When you are exploring fetish or kink sites you’ll probably find them to be all dark and intimidating, maybe a little reflective of the people involved. That shouldn’t be the case! Like with the kink and fetish culture you should feel safe and welcomed. Fetish.com offers this experience.

Fetish.com does offer some adult dating but mainly facilitates a space for members to learn about their kinks in a nonjudgemental way. This site does a great job of normalizing kinks in a way that we wish a lot of other sites would. The content on this site is helpful and educational rather than just a barrage of nude photos.

dating is not easy If you are not sure what your kinks are just yet thats okay. Once you set up your profile you can select from a large list (over 200+) of kinks that help you narrow down exactly what you’re into. This site does facilitate kink hookups a well. Instead of “liking” profiles, you can spank them, a cute twist on modern online dating.

You may not be sure if the dating site is a good fit for you so they do offer a ton of free access. You will need to upgrade your account to get more features like view more profiles or send messages. With the free version, you can get the general gist of the site and who uses it.

 

The good:

  • Modern consumer-friendly interface
  • Free trial and reasonable upgrade cost
  • A great resource for education on the kink culture as well as dating.

The bad:

  • You do need to upgrade for all the features.
  • There is no apps
  • You will need to verify an email to use the site.

 

Cost:

Free for many of the features

1 Month $18.77

3 Months $13.24 per month

6 Months $11 per month

 

6. MatchBDSM

MatchBDSM
4.34 (10379 votes)

MatchBDSM is a site created just to help people in the kink culture explore other members in their area. While Match.com is a widely successful dating site Match BDSM is not related. This site actually seems to have a fairly small following with not too much information on the web. This is not entirely uncommon for fetish dating sites as the like to fly under the radar but something to think about.

This dating site is extremely inclusive. Not only are they open to all genders and sexual orientations but they are also open if you are a couple or singles alike. The site has a huge offering of kinks to select from so chances are yours will be included and you can find others that love that as well.

Unlike a lot of the sites listed MatchBDSM does offer an algorithm experience where they actually pair you with someone. As opposed to just giving you a list of members and expecting you to find someone. This site is mobile friendly and easy to use from your phone or desktop but there is no mobile app yet.

 

The good:

  • Algorithmic matching
  • It is extremely inclusive BDSM community
  • Group chat abilities

The bad:

  • No educational forums
  • Profiles are quick to set up but not thoroughly prepared.
  • The site is still growing but fairly small right now

 

Pricing:

3 Day Trial $6.37

1 Month Membership $23.80/ month

3 Month Membership $10.64/month

 

7. BDSM.com

BDSM.com
3.95 (9846 votes)

BDSM.com is owned by the same online adult media giants that own Alt.com. If choosing between the two BDSM.com seems to be the better choice with reports of a less ad-heavy spammy experience than what you might find on Alt.com.

Still, keep your wits about you as you use any of these adult dating sites. Common sense will go along way in this space. Make sure you are protecting your identity and looking out for red flags.

On BDSM there is a free trial but you really don’t get much from it. You can read their magazine and thats about it. To get access to profiles and chatrooms you will have to pay. Be aware that many women may be paid to interact with you as well. You can use your ALT login to login to BDSM as well so you really get two sites for one.

 

The good:

  • Free trial with limited abilities
  • Fewer ads and spam than other sites
  • Easy to set up profiles

The bad:

  • Reports of fake accounts
  • You have to pay to see profiles
  • Some women are paid to interact with you.

 

Price:

Free account

1 Month Gold $29.95

3 Months Gold $14.99/ Month

12 Months Gold $8.95/ Month

 

8. GayBDSMDate

GayBDSMDate
3.87 (8978 votes)

GayBDSMDate.com, as the name describes, is a BDSM site specifically for the gay online community. While a lot of kink app and fetish sites are inclusive by being on a site that has straight members that you know you will not be interested in there is a lot of clutter. With this site, you only have people of your sexual orientation.

GayBDSMDate is a pretty open site where pretty much anything goes. You’ll find this site is a lot less tame than sites that cater to straight couples. There are chatrooms that are unmoderated so anything goes as well as webcam shows.

One great feature of this site is that the free trial does have some pretty great capabilities. You won’t need to upgrade until you’ve got a good feel for the experience. Upgrading does vary in cost but we will cover that further down.

 

The good:

  • The community is gay only.
  • You can join forums on any topic you want.
  • There is webcam functionality

The bad:

  • There is no app, just online dating
  • Prices do vary
  • Not everyone is local

 

Cost:

There is a robust free trial but upgrades cost between $20 – $30 a month depending on what offer you receive.

Tony Parker

Hello, my name is Tony Parker, entrepreneur, sex blogger,  founder and CEO of Kinkyhookup, and sex expert. I have 15 years of experience in sex and online dating. over the years, I have learned the best technique, practices, and websites to find sex online. To learn more about me please visit my about page.
  • FetGeek says:

    I recommend FetLife 100%

  • Fetishqueen says:

    I think reddit BDSM is the best page I have visited. It has the most interaction between members.

  • Ahmad says:

    Love this thank you

  • LazoWoman says:

    I found a my submissive on reddit, although its more of a public form than a dating site.

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