13 Common Kinks You Might Not Even Know You’re Into
Many, if not all kinky sex activities can be grouped together based on the sensation they cause or how you actually do the kinky thing. But when you’re new to kink or you’ve never tried playing beyond what you know you like, you might be into kinks you didn’t even know existed.
Based on one specific kinky thing you like — spankings, for example — you may find multiple other kinks that you never thought you could be into. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these common kinks and learn what other things fit in the same category. You may just find a new way to play and get yourself (or a partner) off.
Related: How to find a good kinky partner
Do you love a bit of spanking during sex or as part of a kinky scene? While spanking can be a legitimate kink all on its own, it actually falls under the umbrella of impact play. Impact play is exactly what it sounds like — a form of play that involves striking, hitting, spanking, or otherwise causing an impact to the body.
What falls under this particular kink? A lot of things:
- Cock and ball torture (some, but not all)
RECOMMENDED: Complete list of kinks and fetishes
Can some of these forms of impact play fall under other categories of kink? Of course! But if a toy, body part, or object slaps, strikes, kicks, or otherwise lands on a body part, it’s impact play.
Spanking is a bit of a gateway kink into other kinky fun. If you enjoy the skin-on-skin contact and/or the pain involved, you may find that you love other forms of impact. As with any kink, do your research before you try it out. Because you’re striking someone’s body, there is a high risk of injury when done improperly. And no, you don’t have to like everything that’s considered impact play. Only do what you enjoy and ignore the rest.
Exhibitionists enjoy being watched while they play or have sex. The best way to get this kink met is at a sex party or swingers’ club. Don’t involve non-consenting people in your dynamic by having sex in places where people haven’t consented to see it.
A role-play scenario wherein the submissive partner is abducted or “kidnapped” by the Dominant partner. Some kinksters plan elaborate scenes that can last for hours or even days based around this fantasy.
Do any of your kinky fantasies involve being teased until you’re begging for release? Have you seen a video or GIF of someone with a vibrator attached to their body and fantasized about what it felt like? Both are forms of orgasm control, a very popular kink that isn’t always labeled “kinky.” Think back to your vanilla hookups — if you or a partner ever delayed the other’s pleasure as a tease, that was orgasm control even if you didn’t call it that.
Orgasm control can be played in three different ways (or combined for more pleasure):
Edged orgasms: Being brought to the edge of an orgasm before backing off. You may eventually have the orgasm or you may be denied for a period of time. When you edge yourself multiple times, the subsequent orgasm is usually bigger and better than usual.
Forced orgasms: Through manual stimulation or with the help of a sex toy, you’re “forced” to endure the sensations until you orgasm, sometimes multiple times. Even when the sensations become overwhelming, you keep going.
Orgasm denial: In power exchange relationships or scenes, one person might “own” or “control” the other person’s orgasm. This means they only come when their partner says so. If their partner says no, that’s orgasm denial — even if they really, really want to climax. Chastity and cock cages are also part of orgasm denial.
Who doesn’t love a butt? Anal play can involve anal penetration with a penis but it doesn’t have to. Other types of anal play include playing with butt plugs and dildos, booty worship through massage, and analingus (licking and tonguing the butthole.) Remember to wash thoroughly beforehand, go slowly, and use tonnes of lube.
Something about carrying life is a big-time turn on for many people. Becoming pregnant is obviously an enormous commitment, but you can play with this kink without actually doing it! This might involve talking about how you can’t wait to be filled with your partner’s seed or how he’s getting you pregnant during sex because you’re so fertile. Don’t be limited by biology, either – impregnation fetish doesn’t have to only be for people who could actually become pregnant!
Voyeurs enjoy watching other people play or have sex. You can indulge this kink by going to a swing club, sex party, or setting up a session with some trusted friends. For some people, watching porn also meets this need.
Most people think of rope and intricate knots when they think of bondage. If you’re not into that, you might think bondage isn’t your thing. But if you like to pin your partner to the bed or hold their arms behind their back, you may be more into bondage than you realize. As with all other kinks, there are plenty of ways to play that you might not even realize yet.
Yes, many kinksters use equipment and gear for bondage. It’s not all rope and knots, although it definitely can be that, too. But you can also explore a bondage kink without a single piece of equipment. If you’ve held a partner down, you already know this to be true.
One form of equipment-free bondage is honor bondage. Most common in power exchange relationships and scenes, it occurs when the dominant or top tells their partner to hold a position and stay still. It can be used as punishment, to teach discipline, or as a bit of kinky fun to find out how much your partner can endure.
Emotional Sadism & Masochism
Just as sadism and masochism involve getting off on giving and taking physical pain, some people also enjoy emotional sadism and masochism – in other words, playing with those difficult and painful emotions (sadness, anger, jealousy, and so on) for the purposes of sexual arousal. Emotional sadism and masochism can have an intense and lasting impact on mental health, so make sure you’re prepared and have an aftercare plan if you’re thinking of trying it.
A lot of people assume they’re not “really” kinky because they don’t enjoy pain. Pain isn’t a requirement for kink or BDSM. It’s just one of many potential sensations that you can feel. It may be popular with many sadists and masochists, but it’s not the only option.
- Tickling with feathers or fingers
- Temperature play with ice cubes, cold glass toys, hot wax, and more
- Electrostimulation using electricity to create a wide variety of sensations from gentle tingles to shocking pulses
Sensation is a form of stimulation on your body and in your skin. If it feels good, keep doing it or try that form of play in a new way. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. All sensation can become painful if taken too far or made too extreme. For some people, that’s a lot of fun. But if you’re not into pain, you can feel plenty of other sensations that feel good to you. As always, it’s a matter of extremes from a little to a lot.
Despite current fashions pushing a lot of people to shave everything below the neck, plenty of people find body hair super sexy. Many people love the natural look of a hairy vulva, balls, nipples, or armpits. It can also be fun to nuzzle into and run your fingers through. Plus, it’s less time-consuming and expensive to maintain!
Breast and Nipple Fetish
Lots of people love breasts, but for some it goes a step further and boobs (and/or nipples) become a fetish in and of themselves. Breast play can involve sucking, licking or biting breasts and nipples, tit fucks (stimulating the penis between breasts,) breast bondage, or nipple torture with things like clips and clamps.
One person’s humiliation kink is another person’s hard limit. As with all of these kinks, humiliation exists on a spectrum. You can enjoy as much or as little of it as you like, and it still “counts” as your kink. And as with everything, a little can go a long way.
If you get off on being called a “little slut” or a “bad boy,” you might have a humiliation kink. Even being made to kneel in a scene or being lead around on a leash can be part of it. Humiliation is a gray area of play because, for some people, certain words or actions turn them on but don’t tap into feelings of embarrassment. It’s more about submission or some other kink they may have.
For anyone who thinks this may be a kink, you’d like to explore more, spend time thinking about what you don’t want to do, hear, or say. Some words are too harsh, and some actions go too far. For me, I’m happy to be my partner’s “whore” or “slut” but he can’t call me “fat” or “ugly.” That’s more than I can handle, and it actively turns me off, even though the other words turn me on. And only he can say them. From anyone else, it’s repulsive — until we establish a relationship, and I consent to those words.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that words can’t really hurt someone. Humiliation kinks carry just as much risk as impact play or bondage. It’s just a different kind of harm. Doing emotional damage to a partner isn’t worth the few seconds of fun you might have. And you may never be able to repair the damage to a relationship.
We often know what we like during kinky sex or a BDSM scene, but we don’t always know where that desire fits into the greater scope of kinks and fetishes. By learning what “family” of kinks your favorite activity belongs to, you have a path of exploration that may lead you down a kinkier and more exciting journey of discovery — and pleasure.
Whether it’s foreplay, phone sex, or just a way to help each other get off, dirty talk is seriously hot. It can be a great way to get each other revved up, to have a sexual connection when you’re not physically in the same place, or to share fantasies and fetishes in a lower-stakes way than actually trying them out.
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