5 Things You Should Know Before You Meet for Sex
While having sex with someone new can be overwhelmingly exciting, it also carries some anxiety. For many of us, we always imagine the mind-blowing scenario we always see in the movies. Sometimes, those ridiculous pressures hovering over you may hinder the fun and experience. Here 5 things you should know before you meet for sex:
1. Talk about safety
If you’re meeting for casual sex, you know it can happen anytime. It’s important that both of you are on board. While there is a lot of pressure to get it right, the last thing you want is to have sex and regret about it later. Before you meet, you should have a conversation of keeping your rendezvous safe if you are going to fuck.
No matter how much you’re attracted to the other person, you should never put yourself in a position where you have to worry about STDs and pregnancy. It takes a couple of minutes to throw some condoms in your bag. You never know, both of you may rush into the act after a night out or drunken frat party. You need to be prepared.
It may feel a little weird to talk about these things with a potential lover, but it shows you’re concerned about safe sex. Sometimes having a conversation beforehand can be a real libido boost. It doesn’t matter what gender you are—you have to take responsibility for your own sexual health and safety. Also, you should not have sex because you’re under pressure to do so. Only meet for sex if this is a decision you’ve made together.
2. Expectations after sex
First, be sure of the relationship you have with the person. Keep in mind that a one-night stand could mean something different depending on the person you’re with. If you just want sex, find a way to say that. While it may seem a bit difficult to bring the topic, it’s important you ensure you’re on the same page. If you don’t want a relationship and only crave a one-night thing or an FWB, say so.
Similarly, be clear if you want to meet with someone for long-term romance. If you suspect there are other ulterior motives, you may want to reconsider the meeting. Never assume that sleeping with someone will make them want a relationship.
3. Define your sexual boundaries/ set some ground rules
Discussing your sexual boundaries will give an idea on what to expect when you meet for sex tonight. Your definition of sex could be different from what he or she thinks. Also, some people will consider oral sex to be the same as penetrative sex. Take time to talk to your partner about how far he/she is willing to go. This will ensure you’re not taken by surprise in the heat of the moment.
It’s particularly difficult to declare sexual boundaries after you’ve already met. Be clear of what you’re willing to do up front. A good way to approach the topic is to ask your partner to write a list of possible sexual scenarios. You can then go through it and answer with yes, no, or maybe. This method can work wonders if you’re looking to take things into the next level after you meet. Don’t judge your partner if they have different answers than your own.
If you’re meeting the person for the first time, there is can be a lot of insecurity for both. You want to avoid things that will turn into a nightmare. The rules are there for your safety, so the more you communicate them. the better your encounter will be. It’s necessary that you express your limits clearly.
If you’re intimidated of being explicit, find out how you can bring this issue out in a sexy way. Once you’ve found some ideas that you’re both interested in, discuss how you’ll explore them when you meet. If he or she doesn’t respect your boundaries, it’s time you say goodbye.
4. Know whether you can trust them
Having sex with a stranger can put you in a vulnerable position. With this in mind, you should take a moment and evaluate whether you’re comfortable with the person you’re just about to have sex with. When you learn about their character, you will have a better gauge if this is someone you can trust.
Most women want a man who will respect their limits. You’ve probably heard of cases where a woman meets with a man and takes advantage of her. Don’t agree to anything until you feel safe being around them. It all comes down to proper communication.
If you want the sexual arrangement to be ongoing, you have to know the finest details about your partner. If you just met online, take time to learn who they are. Otherwise, you could end up endangering your well-being. When you take this precautionary measure, it can make you feel more comfortable about things. If you ignore this, expect some surprises and awkward situations. Sex should be fun, so if you’re having second thoughts about it, take your time and learn more about the other person.
5. Know their relationship status
Chances are that both of you are not new to sex. Let your partner know whether you’re in an open relationship, monogamous relationship, married or still single. That way, you can easily tell whether you want to continue with the relationship or not. This can be tricky when you want more than sex. Nevertheless, both of you must be clear where you are on the love spectrum.
By knowing the relationship status, it’s quite easy to establish who it’s cool to hook up with. Not many people want to sleep with a married man or woman. Sure, some people even lie about their relationship status. That’s why you need to get to know them at least a little to make sure they are trustworthy and unattached.
If you want to make sure this is not a one-night arrangement, your relationship status will highlight how much time you’re willing to spend with the other partner. Once you’ve set the boundaries, you can meet and have sex without hurting each other feelings. For this to work, you have to agree that you’ll not be actively or passively interfering with each other’s relationships.
Sex can be extremely great and awkward too. Before you get down to it, you may want to go through the above tips to ensure there is no more room for questioning. Sex should always be pleasurable, incredibly hot, and very safe—and not about regrets.