4 Sites like Fetlife for Fetish & Kinksters 

Site like Fetlife

If you’re a proud kinkster, I’m sure you’ve used Fetlife at some point. Fetlife is a super popular fetish website that’s dedicated to all things kinky 

This website has proved to be a tried and true solution for people seeking alternative relationships, sex styles, as well as kinks and fetishes.  

If you love Fetlife, why not check out some alternatives? It never hurts to have options, so without further ado, here are five Fetlife alternatives for you kinksters out there.  


Fetlife Alternatives: 

Adult Friend Finder

4.91 (11006 votes)

What is it? 

Adult Friend Finder is a great alternative option as a kink-friendly site. As the name suggests this community is made up of adults and the focus is on having a good time over a committed relationship.

There’s no beating around the bush when it comes to AFF which makes it such a great site for exploring your kinks and fetishes. You can expect to find people that are into exactly what you are.

As you explore alternatives to Fetlife you won’t want to skip Adult Friend Finder.

How it works: 

Adult Friend Finder is a site where you’ll be connected with tons of kinksters just like you.

You don’t need much more than an email address and a username to start finding your kind of people. While traditional dating sites will grill you with tons of questions AFF isn’t like that. You can set your preferences and be on your way.

Adult Friend Finder is a real life porn hub. You’ll find tons of nudity and people exporing their sexuality.

Find someone you like and start chatting with them. AFF does offer to sort members by proximity to you but you can always start a virtual connection with someone as well.

Best Feature:  

The amount of users. Adult Friend Finder boasts over 80 million users world wide. With that many members all with an open mind you’re bound to find a community that is totally into your specific kink or fetish. You don’t have to play in the shadows anymore, they’re there to welcome you with open arms.



5.00 (10024 votes)

What is it? 

Fetish.com calls itself the kink-positive dating BDSM community for fetish dating. Its mission is to “demystify alternative lifestyles,” and provide a place for kinksters to connect and hookup.  

The online community on Fetish.com is from around the world, making it one of the most exciting and interesting kink sites on the web.  

How it works: 

Once you create an account you can start by browsing other user profiles. You can browse other members or check out specific communities such as BDSM dating and dominatrixes 

You can also look for events in your area that are related to kinks and fetishes. Chatting is free on this site, which is a huge plus. Many sites require an upgrade to chat so this puts Fetish.com ahead of the pack.  

Best Feature:  

The standout feature on Fetish.com is the fact that it’s available as a mobile app. Most adult-related apps are not found on the iOS app store, and only occasionally found on Google Play.  

I don’t know how they did it, but the team at Fetish.com has secured a totally legit app, making it the most convenient choice on this list.  


Bondage Pal 

Bondage Pal
4.50 (9985 votes)

What is it? 

Bondage Pal is another great Fetlife alternative that prides itself on being ethically and professionally made. This site welcomes anyone who is seeking an alternative lifestyle or relationship.  

Whether you’re a total newbie or a seasoned fetish expert, there is a place for you on the Bondage Pal website.  

Now, as the name implies, this site is geared towards BDSM, but you’ll find that any kink or fetish is welcomed with open arms.  

How it works: 

Bondage Pal is a free fetish site where you can connect and chat with users who are passionate about bondage and BDSM, as well as other related kinks.  

Once you sign up you can browse through other user profiles to find a match using the search feature.  

I will say that the search function could use a bit of an upgrade. For a fetish website, it would be nice to be able to search according to fetish!  

That aside, there are tons of users to chat with and have some kinky, naughty fun.  

Best Feature:  

This site is pretty simple, but it does have a unique feature called the flirt message. This is a message that you create that will be sent out automatically to any user that fits your criteria. This takes some of the work out of finding matches so you can start flirting faster.  


Find A Femdom 

find a femdom
Find A Femdom
4.50 (9758 votes)

What is it? First of all, what’s a femdom? A femdom is a woman who loves being the dominant one in a sub/dom relationship.  

These are women who want men to serve and please them in whatever way they see fit. This website has created a space just for femdoms and the men who love them.  

You can use this site to find femdoms or subs in your area. This site boasts thousands of femdoms all looking for the perfect sub for a hookup or relationship. 

 If you’re a femdom yourself, this site can help you connect with submissive men who love to submit to dominant ladies.  

How it works: 

After creating your account, you can start browsing the site to find a match. You have the ability to filter users by location and interests which is a huge plus for a fetish site.  

You may occasionally run into accounts that are no longer active but for the most part, it’s a thriving, kink community. You can also read through the blog posts for some exhilarating, BDSM themed content.  

Best Feature: 

One of the most unique features of Find a Femdom is the black book. This little tool allows you to create a special photo album that only your favorite users can see. As you can imagine, this makes for some spicy conversation once you allow your match to access your black book.  



4.30 (9154 votes)

What is it? 

Whiplr is the messenger with kinks. As the cheeky name implies, this site is all about BDSM dating and kinky chat.  

This site is especially diverse and they encourage all people, regardless of experience, to sign up and enjoy the site.  

Whiplr has made quite the name for itself over the years, hosting popular fetish events and community experiences.  

Although Whiplr has a focus on BDSM, there are actually over 200 fetishes to explore on this site.  

There is an active community of open-minded users looking for an alternative connection. If you’re in doubt about which site to choose, Whiplr is a smart choice.  

It’s widely regarded as one of the best kink sites around, with features in VICE, Daily News, and People Magazine.  

How it works: 

Whiplr is super simple. Just sign up for a free account and start browsing profiles of other kinksters 

You can use the location feature to find a match in your city, or when you’re traveling. You message users with the comprehensive messaging platform.  

This chat platform lets you call, chat, share photos, and even delete messages off of the recipient’s phone.  

Best Feature: One of the newest features of Whiplr is the events feature. Users can find local events related to their favorite kink or fetish.  

You can chat with the attendees before and after the event and make lasting connections. This is a great feature for people who are looking for a local kink community.  


Final Thoughts: 

We all love Fetlife and the world of opportunity it opens up for kinksters. While Fetlife is an awesome fetish site, you may want to check out these sites like Fetlife to see if there’s a better match for you. Who knows, you may find the kinky match of your dreams on one of these kinky sites.  

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Tony Parker

Hello, my name is Tony Parker, entrepreneur, sex blogger, and founder of Kinkyhookup.com. I have over 10 years of experience in sex and online dating, and I have spent most of my life learning the art of kink, fetish, and BDSM. I created KinkyHookup as a way to create a community of like-minded people.

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